Delights?

The English language is confusing. Ask anyone trying to learn it. I am a lover of words. I am a student of learning about words and their origins. Inquisitive?  Alright. I'm a Big Ole Nerd. I used to read dictionaries as a kid. I think I covered that in the post about Strange Children. Moving on...

Any word that begins with the prefix de- will usually mean there is a reduction, a negation, a removal, an undoing, or a reversal. Words such as decrease, devalue, degrade, delete, and deter display this 'rule'.

So what's up with delight?

Delight should, technically, mean less light. It should mean darkness. It should mean shutting off the light.

Instead, delight gives you pleasure, lifts you, gives you enjoyment or satisfaction. It pleases you. It brings light.  It's the only word I can think of right now that means the opposite of what it should mean. There are others, I'm sure.

In Spanglish (my word) it would be broken down as such: De (of or from) and light (obvious). Therefore, it would be something or someone that is of light or from light.

Light is always a good thing. We couldn't exist without natural light. We wouldn't want to exist without seeing Light in others. We try to be a light to others. We diet to become lighter. Light is good. Delight is good.

What brings you delight? Is it a good meal, finishing a tough task, discovering a new talent, or having a good time with a new friend?

I feel delight when I see children, when I think of my daughter and husband, when I hear beautiful music, and especially when I wake up and am able to get out of bed in the morning!

There should always be a delight in our life. I say, 7 times per day we should be able to say, "That was delightful!" and mean it! "It was full of delight and I felt it! I wonder what delights tomorrow will bring?" Just keep it to a level that won't bring on the nice men with the white jackets that tie in the back. Although, basket-weaving can be delightful!

Reboot Challenge?

Think about and discover what delights you and pursue it with all your energy. People say life is short. Life is just Life, however long we have it. Make it count. Everyday open the box and see what delightful treat is inside meant just for you!

Happy Easter and Pasach Sameach, Y'all!
 

The Concubine Crashed Her Head into the Wall!

The other night, since I've been on a foreign movies and series 'kick', I decided to watch a Korean film titled, The Empresses of the Palace. The story is about an Emperor in the 1700's and his concubines. It sounds pornographic but it isn't.

The film was set in a province ruled by an Emperor whose Empress, the sister of his other deceased wife, was unable give him another Crown Prince to rule after his death. Therefore, she is charged with the task of overseeing six to eight concubines of which the "Emp" could, uh, date?

He would send for a girl and the servants would carry her in, wrapped in a blanket like a giant burrito.

The Empress was like the Manager and another of the concubines was like a Supervisor. She was unbelievably mean to everyone, except Emp, of course. She did a lot of kissing up to him, annoyingly. It turned out she had a pretty sad backstory that 'made' her that way, so I gave her some slack even though she had a maid killed and dropped in a well for hurting her head with a comb. Bosses can be rough.

A new concubine was a particular irritation to her. The Mean One, along with her clique of concubines and servants, did awful things to everyone like poisoning, torturing, causing others who did become pregnant to lose their babies. Just awful!

The new concubine became the favorite of the Emp and the Mean Girls didn't like it.

The newbie goes to visit Meanie and reveals something to her. They are both made up and clothed in beautiful silks with golden ornaments in their hair and jade jewelry and look stunning. Meanie gets so crazed and in despair at what she hears that she suddenly jumps up and rams her head into the wall!

Again. She RAMMED...HER HEAD...INTO...THE WALL!

I was up late and alone watching this and just sat up and yelled, "WHAT!" because I was truly stunned. Well, not as stunned as she was...she was dead.

This is not normal behavior. There is no other reason than pure fascination that made me continue to watch after that.

There was the usual intrigue, battles, spies, politicking, and love affairs still going around the outskirts of the drama in the harem. I continued to watch. What more could happen, right?

More drama. More poisonings. More secret meetings. More "gotchas". And then...you guessed it.

The Empress takes off running and plows her head into a wall, too!

Whiskey...Tango...Foxtrot!!! Who does that?

Of all the knowledge they'd shown with herbs and combining them for every purpose in the food and medicines and tonics, this is the way these ladies chose to off themselves?

I just stared at the television with my mouth open at this point.

I don't think I've been that shocked by a movie since Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. And, with that one, I was only shocked at how bad it was. OK. It's kind of funny when the guy spying on them dressed like a tomato asks for the catsup for his hotdog and is busted.

I've decided to show this movie to my husband. The next time he says anything that upsets me, which, thankfully, isn't that often, I'm going to jump up and run toward the nearest wall.

Let's see if he stops me. No one even tried with the Concubine. Poor Thing!

It didn't do well in North America, apparently. I can't imagine why. It has lovely scenery, costumes and women cracking their heads on walls.

I'll never look at an egg the same way. 

Being Black in the U.S.

Being Black is not as easy as you think. That's a joke.

With this "B" post, I hope to help readers understand how I approach people and how they approach me.

You see, there is no way of 'hiding' the fact that I am Black. I wouldn't want to. When you see me, you know. I look at people and try to see their eyes and personality and how we are going to connect and on what level. I notice color. I look for trust. I look for kindness. I look for similarities. I look for differences. I look for honesty. I'm like Robocop or the Terminator but, corny as it sounds, I feel love and forgiveness for everyone. Who am I not to?

When my husband first showed his co-workers a photo of me, a couple of them said, "She's Black!" and his response was feigned shock. He grabbed the picture back and with eyes wide, said, "She is?!"and it only made me love him more.

Look at him and you'd say...White. His father was a dark Cuban, his mother, of Scotch-Irish descent. My husband had auburn hair and pale skin growing up. Now, his hair is gray and everyone sees White. Cubans come in all tones, like Americans and Africans.

When Caucasians look at others, they know they are Caucasian and begin to assess one another based on clothing, grooming, handshake, whatever. When I am seen, the first thing is, "She's Black." and along with that comes whatever experiences, exposure, rumors, whatever is in the news that week, attempts to remain nonplussed, or bewilderment as to what comes next. Blacks are being 'blamed' for whatever is done by the President of the United States as if he called us first to check-in! The sad part is when I'm looked at by other Blacks, that's also the first thing seen and then it's either a positive or a negative, too. At times, I think we are all harder on ourselves, than who we believe is our enemy.

This can be a source of amusement, bemusement, or frustration depending on the stage on which it occurs.

My entire childhood was spent with other Black children telling me "You talk so proper!" as if it were a confusing problem. Non-blacks were accepting of me in High School because they would say "I don't see color." which would make me think they weren't seeing me. At first meetings I loved to read the confusion on their faces of "She didn't sound Black on the phone!" which is one of my favorite tricks, actually (Naughty me!).

By 40, I really couldn't care less what anyone thought about anything. Ah! The freedom of aging! Don't fear it. Embrace it and all the perks that come with it!

I've spent a good portion of my life being the only Black in the room (DON'T say it, Americans!), at the party, in the meeting, on the plane, in the theater, or the restaurant. People of all colors have attempted to push me to represent an entire RACE of people just because I happen to have more melanin in my skin. I've had men try to pick me up thinking that I was a "sure thing" and try to take liberties they would fight against if it were done to their mothers or sisters. I've been proudly told by people that they get darker than I do when they tan, that they didn't know Black people but watched us on T.V., that we could tan or burn, that I was the first one they'd ever met or had as a friend, would either compare me to whatever Black woman was famous at the time, congratulate me in that way that shows they didn't believe I could do whatever it was, and, yes, call me names outside of my given proper name, of course.

My life has been spent meeting all types of people in and from all types of places in the World. I have learned that if I respect them, usually I will receive the same respect back. My father commanded respect through his demeanor after growing up in the Southern States of the U.S. and he got it. He never shared every story of the times he didn't but know that he was spat upon, called names, and denied progress in his life due to the amount of melanin in his skin as an adult and not only in the South.

Please don't think I'm bitter about any of it. Some of my best friends...(Haha!). It's life with other humans who've had their own experiences with other humans. I won't be placed in the position of speaking for everyone with more melanin any more than I would ask a Caucasian, Asian, or African person to speak for all who have more or less. It's not fair and certainly results in disheartening inaccuracies. 

My skin is brown. My hair is kinky. My nationality is American. My religion is Catholic (a WHOLE 'nutha story!). My race, according to the U.S. is Black (a color). Or sometimes African-American (long time since my ancestors were there). I'm a 'sister' but in Florida, I'm also called "Mami" by Cubans, Puerto Ricans, Colombians, et al. Why I don't have a multiple personality is beyond me! However, I'm still not as confused as poor Raven-Symone if you've been keeping up with her. I'm going to take a wild stab at the idea that she might have faced racism from both sides of the fence in her life and has decided not to be either because of the pain of rejection. No one has a monopoly on racism.

Despite the usage of race and ethnicity in the same way, there are some actual differences in the definitions. It would be nice to all recognize the difference and use them appropriately if we ever seek to have any semblance of peace among us. There's an article explaining how race is "your biologically engineered features. It can include skin color, skin tone, eye and hair color, as well as a tendency toward developing certain diseases. It is not something that can be changed or disguised." I will add, it does not define you as a person and ethnicity is not a statement of what color of skin you have as shown by all countries and many varied people of different colors (skin-tones). Example? There are people of Asian descent born and raised in places like Peru. They are Peruvian. Correct?

Read more: Difference Between Ethnicity and Race | Difference Between | Ethnicity vs Race http://www.differencebetween.net/science/nature/difference-between-ethnicity-and-race/#ixzz3W7Yxx0mI

Watching Trevor Noah's standup act recently made me think of this again. He's having a hard time 'justifying' being chosen as a host for The Daily Show. Really? After considering all the racial problems we have had in the States that I've had to 'choose sides' about, he summed it up as an 'outsider'. As a mixed race person, here he is Black. He also noted, we had a mixed candidate for the Presidency but now have the first "Black" President. Nailed it.

I have hope for future generations who will force the U.S. to remove the 'check one' boxes of race because they will be inapplicable, nor will it matter. There will be no way of breaking it down. I hope I'm around to see that Census.



 

Ask Me ALL Questions and I'll Tell You No Lies

I find it amusing that our elders will ask anything they want directly to your face. It doesn't matter how embarrassing it may be, how personal, how insulting, how tactless it may be. They will spit it out AND expect you to answer!

I used to be offended by certain questions and then I realized an important Life Lesson.

If you want to know something...you ask.

One should never be too proud, too full of themselves, to ask a question. You can't hesitate because you may appear foolish or that you lack knowledge. You DO lack knowledge until you get the answer to the question! You are afraid to appear ignorant. Guess what? You are in the absolute meaning of the word ignorant. Good Old Merriam-Webster gives a short and sweet definition:

1

a :  destitute of knowledge or education <an ignorant society>; also :  lacking knowledge or comprehension of the thing specified <parents ignorant of modern mathematics>

b :  resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or intelligence <ignorant errors>

 

2

:  unaware, uninformed

 

By that definition, we are all ignorant of something as we are not omniscient. We weren't made to be. Until you ASK, you are definitely ignorant of the topic and have a lack of knowledge or education of something or someone. Ignorant comes from the word ignore which put simply means, you refuse to do anything about what you hear or see and/or do nothing about or in response to it. I refuse to ignore my ignorance.

 

If you want to know something....you ask about it. There.

 

Ask me anything. I will answer in one way or another, but I will answer. I won't think less of you. In fact, I applaud that you approached me to find out what I might know. It takes guts with many people to overcome the hesitation and, even, fear, to do so. It isn't that I'm scary (Well, OK. I can be at times) or will degrade another person. I welcome it. I hope others feel the same when I approach them. Perhaps, this is why everywhere I go in the World over the years, I've been asked if I'm a teacher. I have never been as a career. I do hope that I have been able to 'teach' in the traditional sense of the word and able to impart whatever I knew to others after I'm gone.

 

I like to take it one step more and say if I don't know the answer, I try to find out. It's for the person that asked now AND for myself. It is said that knowledge is power, right?  (It's also said that "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely". Therefore, use your knowledge for Good.)

 

Really. What is the worst thing that can happen? I began to think of everything in that term. Will I die from an answer of "No"? Will my feelings be hurt? Big deal. I'm a big girl and I can take it. Will someone refuse to answer? I'll look to someone else to ask, then. Will they think me silly? Again, that won't kill me.

 

Chances are, there are others in the room who are asking the same questions in their heads but are afraid to raise their hands, literally and figuratively. Someone has to do it or we all remain ignorant.

 

Since today's post is brought to you by the letter "A", the challenge in rebooting this month is to ASK those questions you've always wanted to have answered. Step up, raise your hand, find that person with the knowledge you need, and ask. Don't forget to ANSWER the questions brought to you or help someone find the answer as it may assist you, too.

 

I'll take it further and say never be afraid to ask God for knowledge or for your needs or the needs of others, as well. He'll never insult you, be assured of that. After all, you are His favorite. As I've heard, He'll say "yes", "no", or "I have something better in mind for you".

 

Happy Easter and Pesach Sameach!