Well. They Got Him.

By 'him', I mean William Henry "Bill" Cosby born July 12, 1937 (same age my Dad would be) and married since 1964 (that's coming up on a 52 year anniversary, sigh).

He has a warrant against him now and it's official and it's not going away.

For anyone who has not kept up, Bill Cosby has had over 50 women come forward with allegations that he drugged them and had his way with them after promising to 'mentor' them, apparently, since the 1970's. Many women have refused to give their names. Some have. Many have healed. Many are still scarred. Many blame themselves.

It's the last that I say I'm mostly interested in because it's the mindset that many women (and men!) put themselves in when something traumatic happens to them. They blame themselves.

"I should have known better!"
"How could I be so stupid?"
"I should have seen it coming!"
"I never should have trusted that person!"
"I shouldn't have been there!"

Any one of us are capable of "could-ing" or "should-ing" ourselves into shame and blame. We cannot.

Once we begin to point that finger back at ourselves, we have paralyzed ourselves from moving on with Life. It makes Victims the Perpetrators, and the Perpetrators free in their minds to continue to live in good conscience..."They were asking for it."

Not one person who has been harassed, betrayed or abused in any way has ever asked for it. We all have let our guard down at times, placed ourselves in situations that were sketchy, or didn't pay attention to our 'gut feelings' or instincts. None of that is anything to blame ourselves about. It's simply a lesson to pay attention in the future.

We have all trusted someone that has hurt us, physically or emotionally, and can make us not want to trust anyone in the future, including ourselves and our own judgement. If that happens, the Bad Guys win.

In saying what I'm about to, I may receive a tremendously negative response because I'm not expressing outrage today.

Forgive the ones that harmed you whether they ask for it or not.

Forgiving is not for the other person (it's nice if it changes them in some way) but it is for yourself. It allows Peace to reenter your being. It allows Love to remain free in you for yourself and others. It frees you to Live, to move and to Hope.

Not doing so, can weigh you down forever until you see whatever you need to see happen to that person that caused you harm. Even seeing revenge or justice with your own eyes may not be enough. You may find yourself not knowing what will be enough to clear it for you. Meanwhile, the clock has ticked by and obsession with seeing someone 'get it' caused you to miss out on your own life. Then again, I say, they win. Where does it end?

Mr.Cosby (I say with respect for an elder) will have to face women, a judge, jury, and the World for his crimes. He'll face a greater judge, eventually. We don't worry about it. That's not our call.

Today, I pray for all victims/survivors, for healing for the additional pain his family will feel (they lost a son, violently in 1997) and I regret that a ground-breaking illustrious career is being flushed down the drain but I say that ALL comes to light, in time, for each of us.

Reboot Challenge? Make sure there are no skeletons in your own closets. Make soup. Kidding (had to lighten it up a little!). Live well, show love and be good to each other today. Show how Love and forgiveness works to everyone. Clear the list.

Pick One, Already? No.

It's been a little quiet on this end of the blog for several reasons. Fortunately, it hasn't kept readers from around the World from checking in. Thank you!

I have been enjoying most recently, a visit from my daughter, preparing for Christmas and the New Year, doing volunteer work and homework learning Korean, catching up on Korean dramas, Twitter hashtag games, keeping up with Facebook, and discovering that after watching a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother, a show I didn't like but gave a chance, only to find that I really hated how it ended.

Then, throw in my writing of 3 books at a time and reading 4 at a time, and I can say I've been pretty busy. As the meme said, don't let Facebook be the only book you read this week.

What is life without busy-ness, though?

We are busy with jobs, life, families, hobbies, and whatever we are obligated to do or do only for fun. I'm glad we are! Life should be active like that. We should have time with family members and friends. We should spend time while we are here doing as much as we want and are able to do. We should be doing the jobs we can, even if it only pays for the fun we want to have. If we sit like bumps on a log, we look back and wonder where did the time go and what did I do during it?

If we can't look back and see that we made differences in others' lives, created something worthwhile (to us!), learned useful lessons, a degree, or learned completely useless skills but we enjoyed it, then what was our life about? I'm about to reveal a little of my inner-Hippie again here.

I may never use Korean language anywhere but in a local restaurant but I like challenging myself to see if I still have it enough to learn,

I may not finish 3 of the 4 books I'm writing and may never publish any, but the experience of writing them are fun to me.

I definitely will not be a violin virtuoso but have been having a blast learning.

I no longer do all of the physical activities I used to, but will challenge myself to see what I actually am able to do within my limitations.

There may be no winning lottery that will allow us to travel to destinations unknown but I can read up on cultures and traditions and live vicariously through others. I may be due for that lottery since I recently won a prize at a Christmas Toy Shop, then another, then first prize at our Church Christmas Dance, all in one day! The wins were so timely that I could only thank God for His hand in it all.

So, Life is made to be lived, is my 'eventual' point.

I don't collect stuff for the sake of having 'stuff' but for memories. And, believe me, there will be no U-Haul behind my hearse at my funeral whenever I'm called home.

This World is being inundated with bad news every day. We can wallow in sorrow over it. Or we can live our lives as well as we can, while we can, praying, and helping where and when we can with love for everyone and joy for each day we awaken.

Reboot Challenge? Do something for someone on a regular basis without expectation of repayment. Take a class completely fun and unrelated to a degree or certificate. Learn a skill or language that doesn't have to have a goal. In other words, enjoy the life you have while you have it.

How to Deal with Cowards

Yes. ONE more discussion about the terrorist attacks in Paris, France.

Regular readers had to know I wasn't just going to let it go by, although, I actually wanted to do just that. I just can't speak in the heavier way I would love to here, right now. There may come a time only not today.

Thinking of the attack on Paris this week recalled 9/11 in the U.S. and France being our best of Allies. And I thank them and the World for their response. People are using this as an excuse for personal agendas as in, "Why are we so worried about Paris and not (fill in the blank)?" I find that puzzling because of how the World came together for the US that fateful day when it was attacked by Cowards. To support with changing profile pictures with France was, literally, the least we could do.

I recalled Souls lost in jets blasted out the air, the lost Malaysian jet, and more by Cowards. It reminded me there are people, children, living in fear for their lives daily due to wars and active terrorism by Cowards. It reminded me of children who get little to no food in parts of Africa and are eating GRASS and muddy water because Aid trucks are hijacked by Cowards. It reminded me of Christians in Israel and the brave and faithful Franciscan Priests, Brothers, Sisters, and Parishioners who continue to protect and maintain Holy Churches and sites, even if people come to them just because they are "old". Their numbers are decreasing due to intentional destructions and persecution of Christians by Cowards. I think too much of the Poor of India, in fact, throughout Asia, Latin America and on islands split like Dominican Republic and Haiti, where one side has so much and one side has so very little to nothing because of Cowards. I think of women and children and elderly who are beaten and neglected everywhere by Cowards. If I see one more incident of a death of an innocent due to the evil that is surrounding us whispering in Cowards' ears, sometimes, I think I'll just lose it.

But, I know I won't.

I recognize that Cowards work under Darkness, even if it's not a physical absence of light, it could be any chink in the armor that allows it to operate. Cowards will don a hood, a scarf, a hat, a mask, and take that chance and run with it. Any attempts to harm at a vulnerable point without warning, undercover, because you are bigger, or sneaky makes you a Coward. Call yourself a terrorist because, true, you do cause terror on every scale. Why would someone 'want' to be known for that? It's so twisted in my opinion. But there's more to it.

We are bombarded by an evil we can't subdue without a lot of help and a lot of action on our parts. Now that I've made your day again. Let's get justifiably angry enough to do something about it and not just on Blogs, Twitter, Facebook, and Yahoo comment sections. Social Network Sites (SNS) have allowed the World so say all they want no matter who it hurts or offends.

Oops. I may have lost folks to another website just then. I mentioned doing something.

At times like this, those pitiful people I pray for, take opportunities to spew even more hatred and violence, whatever their politics, color or race or nationality or religion. They are able to turn any tragedy to their own agenda, too, on the sites mentioned above and more. I've seen the Paris tragedy tweets where people begin spitting out nonsense against blacks, immigrants from Mexico, Muslims and anything else they think they're doing anonymously. That's cowardly.

The violent attacks on us all are cowardly or it would be done in broad daylight and in a way that one could fight back. THAT is manly. The other ways are less than admirable, idiotic, and weak.

So what can we do? We can start growing the spine they don't have and grow in whatever Faith we profess to be. We can go to our Churches, Synagogues, or Temples. We can read our Bibles, our Hebrew texts, Korans or go to a library and LEARN what you profess to be and why you are that and how to handle these situations in the most peaceful and productive ways we can. Take responsibility for ourselves and we can take up the Cause of Peace and Love and promote it to every single Soul we know and meet. We can show our courage by STOPPING and reconsidering immediate reactions and think, not post. We can and do fight back but not in the Coward's way. We can know when is the right time and when is the wrong time to speak hateful remarks amongst others or that negative inner dialogue we have that can usually be expressed incognito online. (That was a test.....there is NEVER a right time for that!)

Yes. It takes work. We must talk with one another, learn from one another, and live with one another in Peace. I'm not saying yell on a street corner trying to convert others or knock on doors but work on yourself first. It's private and communal. You calm down and find ways to face the Cowards of the World that are trying to destroy goodness, kindness, peace, charity and love. We all know Right from Wrong from childhood (yes, even Atheists and Agnostics) but we have a hard time admitting it to our 'peers' who don't think it's cool to even make the distinction. They say live and let live.

That's gotten us to a lovely place now hasn't it? We are responsible for one another whether you want to admit it or not. Take responsibility for your brother to show him the right way after you, yourself, are clear about it.

The Cowards will make their own beds if they don't want to take the hint. No progress? You've planted the seed. Now, shake the dust from your sandals. The Cowards will be dealt with in time, in fact....for Eternity.

Reboot Challenge? Gather your own personal Courage for you, your families, your neighborhood, your Countries, and your World. Do it without fear that you are alone. You are not.

(Dedicated to all who have fought and died, who have been victims or victors in the fights against Cowards.)

This Woman's Hands

In quiet restful moments, he'll tell you his Grandmother had lovely hands.

He likes to tell the stories.  He loves to remember with every sense.

He can still feel her comforting hands on his back as a child. He says they were strong, yet soft. They worked and worked hard, yet were soft and soothing to his mind, heart, and spirit when he needed them.

They took away pain and calmed.

They made the best pancakes, root beer floats, and cakes in the World! They kept a tidy, tightly run ship of a house. They knew how to set a table properly and to Serve in more ways than one. They played piano and organ. They painted. They helped him with his homework afterschool. They held books, especially a Bible, often.

Her hands, as he recalls them, are remembrances of feeling love and being loved. He sighs, gratefully, without needing words to express it further. At these times, as a grown man, he is as content as a well-fed infant after a bath.

That little boy's feelings and his memories are stored carefully away. They come out at precious times. They are special and I feel that much more special and smile. Why?

Because of the times he closes his eyes, breathes deeply and tells me I have his Grandmother's hands.

Grandma's Hands - Bill Withers

Reboot Challenge: Mine? To try something a little different today. What's yours?