Thursday, August 27, 2015

What Do YOU Do When You're Embarrassed?

There has been a time in everyone's life when they've felt the shame of embarrassment.

Let's break it down like this. It's an emotion. It's an emotion like any other. It isn't pleasant. It may stay with you longer than other emotions. It may be harder to rid your mind and heart of it but it's not impossible. It may stay in your memory forever.

Now that I've made your day, let's move on.

This is one of the emotions that we experience that must include another person or persons, or the idea of them, to feel. That other person or persons is a witness, a cause, an active participant, at least in our minds to our embarrassment.

To be embarrassed is defined by good ole Merriam-Webster as:

a :  to place in doubt, perplexity, or difficulties
b :  to involve in financial difficulties
c :  to cause to experience a state of self-conscious distress <bawdy stories embarrassed him>
a :  to hamper the movement of
b :  hinder, impede
:  to make intricate :  complicate
:  to impair the activity of (a bodily function) or the function of (a bodily part) <digestion embarrassed by overeating>

Since I didn't intend to discuss bodily functions, we'll leave the last one out of this discussion.

Basically, it's a situation where we are, as it says, placed in doubt or into a state of self-conscious distress. And, we've all been there. Here's the bad news. As long as we are alive, we may experience it again.

Fortunately, it is not an emotion that should cause anyone to not want to live. Oh, we all say, "I could just die of embarrassment!" but we don't and shouldn't really mean that. It's just part of life.

I say that a lot, I realize it. But Life truly throws a lot at us and it's up to us how we will handle it. Will we be continually slammed in the face? Will we dodge what's thrown at us? Will we run off the field? Or will we hit it out of the park? (That's not bad for someone who doesn't watch anything but tennis, occasionally.)

Once we are in that embarrassed 'state', it can paralyze us because of how much we care about what others think of us and what we have worked so hard to portray ourselves as to them. We work HARD on that outside appearance-I've got it all together-I don't need anyone's help-I know everything costume. So a real emotional breakdown can come from being in an embarrassing situation.

So you weren't as prepared as you thought. So you sat in something. So you have something hanging from your nose. So you split your pants. So you didn't realize your breath reeked of garlic. So you said the wrong thing. So your makeup ran. So you had a run in your stocking. So 'they' found out you don't make that much. So they saw what you drive. So they know you don't drive. So you had spinach caught in your teeth. So you started your period. So 'everyone' knows your secret now.


That's the phrase that I say, besides, "Oh, well!" because we ALL go through these things. Animals are NEVER embarrassed and they do a lot worse in public. We are human beings and we have human actions, human reactions, human blunders, human physiology, human feelings, human secrets, human needs and wants, and human emotions. This is just one of them.

So. We feel it. If it needs fixing, we fix it. And, we move on.

Yes. You will remember it. You'll remember it and feel that pang in your chest or that sickness in your stomach as if it just happened again. But you'll live. If you remember it and let it pass and forgive yourself or whoever caused it to happen, you'll live even happier. But, you'll live.

Check the History books and Medical Journals and you will never see that anyone actually died from feeling embarrassed. There is a strength and fortitude you must have for this tough world that has to be learned or it will kick your butt 24/7/365.

Sometimes, that embarrassing situation is meant to bring you to a humble place in your life. Humility is a good thing. Letting other see how you handle situations teaches them, makes them wonder how you got past it and where you got that ability to handle it with such grace.

Reboot Challenge? Don't be afraid to be human and if someone else is there, offer them a hand.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Stop. Drop and Roll.

If ever a World needed this advice, it's now.

I was tempted to use this as my answer to Twitter's trending #MakeLifeBetterInThreeWords challenge. I take everything as a challenge, of course. Therefore, this is what came to mind.

It may sound simple. Perhaps, it seems too simplistic. It is and isn't. I use it as reminders every day of how to live my life and hope it clicks with someone else.

           Worrying about what others will think of you.
            Thinking others are better or worse than you, especially only due to skin.
            Wasting time on whatever isn't giving you joy or helping someone else.
            Comparing what you have or don't have to others. It's just 'stuff'.
            Being ready to fight instead of listening and talking. Pick your battles.
            Being unkind to your body, mind, and spirit. Build and strengthen them.
            Using your body, mind and spirit as a trash can for the World.
            Stop blaming others, including parents, for your life as an adult.

             Whatever you are doing that is causing you pain.
             Whoever you are with that is causing you pain.
             The things that take up most of your time away from God.
             The habit that makes you feel ashamed of yourself.
             Thoughts of harming yourself.
             Thoughts that take you away from Love and Charity and Peace.
             The idea that your life must be the same as everyone else's. It's not.
                It's YOURS.
             With the punches Life will inevitably give you.
             Away from what you know is harmful.
             Toward what you know is beneficial to you and others.
             Out of the way when you sense trouble is on the horizon.
             Up your time and effort to benefit others and yourself.
             Out the Welcome Mat for strangers who need to be acknowledged, i.e. SMILE!
             Around laughing. If there's a kid around doing it, join them! If you know them!

What I'm saying isn't the Meaning of Life, won't cure cancer, and doesn't guarantee a pain-free life. It's a start to thinking of our lives in a different manner that may or may not result in a perceived good life. It's a way of thinking of being better, having better, and doing better with our lives that is followed by action. It's not rocket-surgery.

There's a young lady who is doing some soul-searching, learning and trying to help others in the same way on YouTube who is shifting her channel from strictly make-up and hair to more of the above. She is now reaching out to others to help answer questions she, herself, may have already answered.

Her name is Brittney Gray (@BrittneyGray) and she recently posted her intent to do this. I hope it gives her and her followers a glance at the control they actually do have over parts of their lives and acceptance of those they don't. All of that brings a Peace I pray for everyone. Check it out at:

Reboot Challenge? Choose YOUR vibe today. Dig deep.

Thanks, Brittney, and may God bless your efforts.