Thursday, September 26, 2013

Whatever Nya wants...Nya gets!

...and little Nya wants...Bruno Mars!

Update: Princess Nya went peacefully, surrounded by love, to Our Lord's waiting arms on 5/1/14. Please don't ever forget to hug a child and make contributions to charities for childhood rare cancers research and those who provide help like St. Jude's. Thank you.


This may be a little off-topic for my usual posts but this is a MUST read.

I will be an advocate for all children but this is even more special because it involves my beautiful cousin, a 14-year old girl with a beautiful spirit who has cancer spreading in her brain and spine.

She's been battling it for 3 years now and has shown more strength and love and acceptance than many twice or three times her age.  That's what happens when a child is faced with what should be an adult problem.  You read about such things everyday.

Nya has never asked for much, even though, given her situation, she could have been given anything and everything within our power by the people who love her so much. 

She has now asked for one thing. 

That is to meet Mr. Bruno Mars, the singer, @BrunoMars.

Simple enough.  I hope.

I'm begging anyone who reads this blog (and you know who u are and Thank you so much!) to check into and 'follow' @NyaMeetBrunoMars to help her get the number (one million!) necessary to get his attention.  Our family will be ever so grateful.  You can also 'like' her mother's efforts to get this done on Facebook at facebook/HelpNyaMeetBrunoMars (!/NyaMeetBruno?hc_location=stream and see more information.

This wonderful child has suffered with such dignity and grace that this small effort I'm making here doesn't seem like enough.  However, if you can support Nya in this small request, it actually will, and this I promise, make you a better person.  Can't hurt, right?

From those who love her as I do and the rest of the family, we thank you!  God bless you!

P.S. And does it meet the 3 N's?  Is it Normal, Natural, and Necessary? Heck, yeah!

Special thanks to Locks of Love and all dedicated Nurses, Doctors, and Technicians who do their jobs so very well and care so much!


Tuesday, September 24, 2013

From the 3 R's to the 3 N's

When I said in prior posts that I'm out to learn something "true" everyday, I take that very seriously.

I am confessing that by the time I learn to do a "smoky eye" instead of a racoon-eye, there will be a new trend.  By the time I perfect the "cat-eye eyeliner look" and no longer resemble a poor man's Eartha Kitt, I'll no longer desire it and be too old to pull it off, anyway.  If I even WANTED to do the extra bright eyeshadows in multi-colors, I would be the woman others would ask, "So are you on stage?" or worse, "Are you really a dude?". 

This is a refusal to submit to what I've observed in mascara ads that promise larger eyes, complete with behind-the-scenes application of fake lashes and camera close-ups of a woman's eye very slowly but definitely lifting her lid to give the appearance that her eye is actually larger.  I look waaaay too closely at these trickeries and sleight of hand approaches to sale tactics.  It's what I do.  Prestidigitation.  I like the word.  I watch for the action and usually find it.

Notice the television ads pharmaceutical companies show every 10 minutes.  I know I've mentioned this before.  Close your eyes and really listen to what the pleasant voice is saying instead of being distracted by the visual cues of happy, healthy people being "helped" by the drug.  You'll hear what this medication may actually do to you.  And it isn't pleasant.  It take advantage of those who are suffering and willing to try anything to stop it. So, yes, you can have the botulin injections to help the migraines, but you may go numb and never feel the gentle stroke of a hand on your cheek.  Let's continue looking.

We have been convinced of something I heard today that is TRUE.  A guest on a show on VeriaLiving Channel spoke of it in relation to healthy lifestyles. Our present situation has us believing what Dr. Melanie Joy calls the "3 N's".  We are told and have truly bought into what we are told and led to believe is Normal, Natural, and Necessary. The discussion was primarily regarding being Vegan or Vegetarian but it occured to me that this can have many applications from the politics we choose to the food we eat.

Dr. Joy, a psychologist, has written a book called, "Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows".  I intend to check this out soon just for the title, alone.  Look for a 'review' in the near future.

The other is "The China Study" by Dr. T. Colin Campbell who, through his research, discovered that cancer can be 'turned on or off' based on which diet was fed.  Apparently, plant-based diets turn it off. Not news enough for the world to know, I guess.

Insulted, it reminded me, again, how we are lied to, intentionally or not, by food growers, FDA, USDA, and that thorn in my side, Monsanto. Here's a short recap from a previous post.

Monsanto made Roundup Weed Killer.  Then they made a seed that is resistant to Roundup.  They patented that seed so if anyone decides to use it, they have to pay for it.  Meanwhile, wind, birds, and insects can move the seed from one farm to another.  If they discover their seeds, unpaid for, in an area, they will sue the owner of the property.  And, believe me, they check for it.  They have for years and have forced many farmers out of business.  It's been done with soy, corn, alfalfa, and, careful now, they tried to hit the wheat.  Many countries have insisted that consumers be notified when a Biotech or GMO is in their food through labeling.  The U.S. has not.

Once they have the wheat, though, the world will be at their mercy. It sounds melodramatic but if we continue eating the Genetically Modified foods and the animals that are fed the GMO's, what does that do to us all, in time? The great unknown. They presently enter poor countries, claim they'll increase the amount of food available to the population, make promises of prosperity, and then proceed to decrease the natural-found seeds that have existed for thousands of years, apply for patents, and guarantee the poorer become the poorest, yet somehow fatter at the same time and dying earlier. Interesting and for sure, a topic for another blog post.

Now, back to the Normal, Natural, and Necessary question. Is it?

This is a question we each should ask ourselves as we 'vote' with our money for every purchase.  We should ask this about every morsel of food we place in our mouths and give our families.  Ask it about the clothes we put on our backs. We should ask this about the latest greatest promised technology offered to us every few months.  Yes, I mean the security blankets we carry with us disguised as cell phones and pads.  We need to determine the 3 N's in our relationships with others, the movies and tv we spend time watching and other amusements, what we drive, the medicine we take, the words that come from our mouths, how we care for ourselves and each other, and the jobs we choose to do and what sort of life do we want when we stop doing it.  We should be interested and thinking about what affects us and those around us.

I thought this was the most enlightening and true thing I'd heard this far.  I'll be waiting for more to appear as time goes on.  It's just something to deeply consider, use as a guide and discuss, and help with direction in our lives.

The argument, as I play Devil's Advocate, Sociologist, Philosophist and Scientist, is that each principle is relative and not measurable.  Where does that leave us, then?  As it was said on the show, the dinner stew may have been great, until you learn the first ingredient was dog. But that was normal for your host. It's natural. And in some places, necessary. Meanwhile, we chew on chicken chests as healthful and think macrobiotic diets are weird.

It leaves us with individual choices and decisions to make.  It calls upon us to grow up and decide what is important to each of us in this Life until we leave it.  It calls upon us to help others to know what we know and empower them to do the same.   

People say, Life is Short.  Compared to what?  A moment can be less than a second or it can be years.  Because we had no say on when we got here or when we leave, following that simple criteria can save us time better spent and given, money better spent and given, our sanity when we stop chasing what doesn't meet the criteria, and our peace while we are here.

Those three N's are a pretty good place to start.

Is it normal?  Is it natural? Is it necessary?

Many blessings to all this week with open eyes, hearts, and spirits, and a special blessing to all who open their wallets, homes and lives to others in need. 

Friday, September 13, 2013

Wake Me for the Super Bowl

I've just lost my husband for the 13th time to another.

For the next 4 months, his complete, and sadly for me, undivided attention is on football. 


Not soccer.  Football.  American...Blasted....Football.

I remember being excited in elementary school about football.  But I was a cheerleader.  I didn't understand the game at all.  My attendance was required and led to a very flexible and fit body.

I was equally excited about football in high school.  I was dating a player.  I still didn't understand but went to games and cheered when everyone else did.  That was my contribution.

This evening, I have a nonstop tutor explaining the game, the comments, the pre and post coverage, the daily in-between game commentaries and interviews, and his feelings about them all.  Let me put that out here again.  ABOUT THEM ALL.

Our home becomes Miami Dolphins Central during the season.  I lose control of how the interior is decorated, what goes on our Christmas Tree, and what rugs are in our guest bathroom. Everyone who knows him gifts him with Dolphins memorabilia and I am guilty, as well.

When we were married, I saw this as a challenge.  I could a) fuss and distract him from the games, b) I could entertain myself taking the time to spend time with my friends and hobbies, or c) I could learn something about the game and join him cheering and yelling at the players as if they were in the room.

I chose option "c" and bought Football For Dummies.  I got through the 3rd page and gave up.  Hubby tried explaining.  I, being of average intelligence, picked up some of the lingo but lacked interest and moved on.

I tried the first option with miserable results.  I felt guilty making something he loves so much, so awful.   

That left Door Number Two. 

When we sit together in the evenings with men yelling at each other in suits on NFL Live, etc. I hear a voice in the room telling me WHY what they are saying is wrong, but I'm knitting or reading.  I smile or shake my head in understanding at the correct cues, ask an occasional question, and continue my projects.  He doesn't seem to mind...or notice. The best times I think for us both, is when I leave the house.  He's free to yell as much as the neighbors can stand and I spend time and/or money doing something I enjoy. 

I just can't work up the same enthusiasm for watching men run around making millions of dollars for playing a game! But that's another blog, entirely.

Now, some may think it dysfunctional that a husband and wife don't share this same interest.  I'm just thankful that this is his only hobby, besides learning Spanish.  He could be a fisherman, a hunter, or worse, a golfer! That's an expensive hobby!

When the games are on, if I'm in another room, I can count on him seeking me out for lovey-dovey time....until the commercials are off and the game's back on.  He could be in sports bars, chain-chewing buffalo wings with the guys but chooses to watch here at home.  He could be doing any number of things, legal or illegal, as men do. 

Given how hard he works, how he maintains the house, how he takes such good care of us, I have no valid complaint.  I want him to enjoy himself.  He deserves it.  Just don't expect me to take part in this particular sport.  We don't have to share everything to maintain our relationship.  As a couple, together but individuals, that's an impossibility.

There is a lesson in here somewhere for younger women, I think. 

If a man is 'ignoring' you for a sport but is there for you in every other way at every other time, what is the point in complaining?  I like to think I'm pretty good at my age at picking my battles.  Therefore, we don't have many.  It helps that Hubby reminds himself, like the comedian Ralphie May says, that he'd rather be happy than right.  And he chooses appropriately...most of the time.

For those women that love the sport, I applaud you.  I think it's wonderful that you can stay connected through it.  It's just like the make-up thing for me.  It's just not happening.

My one concession is the actual Super Bowl game.  It's the last game so I'm up for a celebration by then. I will sit through that and, for some reason, understand it.  Of course, I, like millions of others, am drawn by the television ads, too.  It proves, though, that I do have the attention span and ability to follow the game.  I simply choose not to.

And, thus, we have a happy marriage. 

With a red zone.  And a no-fuss zone.

Have a happy and blessed weekend (and enjoy the game)!