Thursday, March 21, 2013

Birthday Blessing

Thirty-three years ago, I made the decision to let my heart walk around outside of my body. 

I gave birth to a little girl and that experience would cause me to grow up fast, live more carefully, put my childhood behind me, and love more than I thought a human being could.

This is a kind of 'love letter' to my daughter on her birthday.

Over the years, we, as a duo, teamed up to give her the experiences of life that all kids didn't get to have.  We travelled when we could afford it and sometimes when we couldn't.  We went to plays, museums, had adventures, and any activities that would grow her socially and intellectually. We just had fun together!

My own mother had done the same with my brother and me.  I didn't know any other way.

From the time we 'met', my daughter showed courage and a keen interest in learning, which I was grateful for and by which I was impressed.  She also developed a sharp sense of humor which everyone her own age didn't always understand but became her 'signature' personality trait.  She joined activities that increased her writing skills, her sales ability, and her physical condition.  She was and still has a competitive side where 'play' is concerned.  She showed a tremendous growth in her generosity and caring for others in charitable work, even as a child working side by side with me at the Salvation Army food prep and deliveries.  We enjoyed movies together that made us laugh, dance, or really think, like Pi.  We played games together like how many numbers of Pi we could memorize!  It sounds really nerdy writing it down, but it was fun as she was learning it and about chaos theories which made her look at the world deeper and differently.

It was my daughter that shocked adults with her manners and ability to hold a conversation because she was actually more comfortable with people older than her age group.

It was my daughter that would tell me, "Oh, no! That cost too much!" or that I was spending too much money. 

It was my daughter that began her own side business in middle school selling candy.  She didn't eat it much herself.  She liked Doug and reminded me of Daria.

It was my daughter that took sushi for her school lunch and wasn't scared to try any unfamiliar food.

It was my daughter that came to me at 15 saying she wanted to be baptized. I almost cried. So we were baptized together.

If I could have personally chosen a kid to raise, it would be her.  And now that she is a woman, I am so honored to say I had a small part in this person's existence.  I take no credit for who she has become.  I thank God for entrusting her to me and for trusting that I would see to her needs. 

Now her life in Turkey, with two degrees, amazing work experiences, incredible life and travel experiences, good health and strength, hilarious stories and photos that come from her, I sit and grow the grey hairs of age and, yes, sometimes from worry.  However, I know whatever life decisions she makes, she has God's protection and guidance.  I trust in that with all my heart or I couldn't get through a day.

It's been an incredible journey, so far, with this little girl, now so grown.  However hard we had it at times, I wouldn't change a thing.

Happy Birthday, Jan!  I love you!

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