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Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Why Lie?

Five year olds lie.

They lie about if they ate a cookie, if they hit someone, or if they brushed their teeth or washed their hands.

Adults lie. Adults lie about the most ridiculous things.

Adults lie about how much they make, how their relationships are, where they 'are' in the World, having affairs, even about height and weight! It's a bad habit.

Like other things, I believe there is a certain age you learn that lying doesn't help. That age was mentioned before....5 years old. At 5, I told my daughter to consider the consequences of everything she said and did from that point on. And from that point on, most of the time, she did. It was a simple statement made in a way that she, at her age, could understand and relate to it.

Once she knew there was, merely, no 'reason'  to lie, ever, we were on the right track.

You see, she understood that I would not stop loving her if she made a mistake, that she wouldn't drop dead if the Truth were told, and that there were consequences to every one of her actions for which she would be responsible. But, she wouldn't be sent to the guillotine for it!

I'm still trying to figure out why adults lie to me and everyone else. There is truly no reason. Most people will accept the truth and move on. Most people will forgive mistakes. Most people just need the truth from you to determine their next step. Lying makes a faulty foundation in every way.

True Confession time!

Lying is my pet peeve. Yes, I've learned to look at someone with a smile, without comment, and listen while they tell me lie after lie and then I walk away thinking, I can never believe anything they say from now on. That's the consequence. You, as our friends in the East would say, lost face with me. You are no longer honorable or trustworthy until you've proven yourself as otherwise.

That may sound harsh to some. However, when one values the Truth and lives by it, you don't have time for lies. Lies, misconstruing, omissions, whatever you want to call it, distorts not only communication but the connection between us. If we don't see the REAL, we can't see YOU. People who consistently lie can eventually begin to believe their own lies, which can be very harmful. It becomes the Truth to them. Give them a lie detector test and they'll pass it with flying colors! That, to me, is scary. Having a flashback of  George Costanza on Seinfeld saying, "Remember...it's not a lie if you believe it."

Now, that may be your goal. You don't want to be seen for reasons known only to you. That's something personal to work on. What is the fear, the shame, the pride, the anxiety, the past, that keeps a person from showing themselves, as they are, to others?

It's time to be a true grown-up. Lies only result in more lies you have to track and remember. As someone said, you never have to struggle to remember the Truth. OK, I just said it.

The Truth will set you free.

Reboot Challenge? Catch the lie before it leaves your mouth. Be ready to face the consequences. Be a grown-up.

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