Monday, January 14, 2013

Bet There's No App for THAT, Baby!

I just had a blast looking through a maze of applications available for my notebook!  Anyone who has viewed these has HAD to have a good laugh!  I certainly did!

Ok...enough exclamation points.  But I'm still giggling!

For some unknown reason, the ones that caught my eye (in no particular order), included a bedwetting diary and one for tracking your caffeine use daily (I'm SURE that's related, medically.).  There's an app to help you stop gambling (I'll bet 5 bucks it doesn't work-get it? I crack me up!) This was followed by Learning Dentistry and A Yoga Pose for That (which you will definitely need if you didn't learn the dentistry properly.)  However, all that nonsense can be avoided with the app for How to Brush Your Teeth.  There is even an app for How to Breathe and one for ageing (Yes, People, that's how it appeared.  Is there an app for spelling?).  The one that puts a chill down my spine.  The Bipolar Diet.  Sca-ry.

My favorites are...and these are in the correct order:  Your "Ladies Calendar", How to Get Pregnant (really?), Having a Happy Pregnancy, Contraction Counter, Hypnosis for Childbirth, How to Care for Your Baby (Why is there no Living With A Teenager?), How to Breastfeed, A Mother's Milk TRACKER, Making Baby Food, Teaching Your Baby to Sign (I've always wanted to know what babies are thinking, maybe, PUT THE PHONE DOWN AND CHANGE MY DIAPER!), and finally, a Pregnancy Calculator (Can't I knock out a whole family with quadruplets? Counting to four is so hard! I need a CALCULATOR!)

Right.  I said no more exclamation points. Sorry.

I once had a beautiful diamond ring given to me by the best mother-in-law-EVER as a Christmas present.  It was a gift from her father to her mother over 40 years ago.  Stay with me.  It had been cut from her finger after she passed away which led to me take it to a jewelry store for fitting and repairing.  I received a call on a Tuesday that the ring was ready for pick-up.  I decided to pick it up on Wednesday.  That night, Spiderman and Friends, or someone like that, decided to come in through the roof  of the store and steal EVERYTHING, including that ring.  I was, obviously, inconsolable, but cried enough genuine tears to bully the man into a store credit.  It worked out well because my mother-in-law was with me to choose a new ring.  I'm still heartbroken at the loss of that ring that wasn't considered priceless to anyone but my husband's grandmother and me.  For my own thought to 'wait', I lost it forever.  Is there an app to Stop Procrastinating?

Procrastination has caused me many losses and problems, the same as acting rashly and spontaneously.  Is there an app for THAT?  Didn't think so.  Just good old-fashioned Common Sense is going to help us through this world and what it throws at us.  And I KNOW there's no application that can be created for that one.  If there is, I want royalties!

Now, I'm off to use my Nap app. Yes, there is such a thing.

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