Sunday, July 5, 2015

Everybody's Lookin' for Something

I've always liked that line of Annie Lennox's song.

I like it because it is so true, even if the rest of the song is pretty negative, i.e. some of them want to use you.

Now, what everyone looks for varies, exists, doesn't, is unique, is collective, is superficial, selfish, charitable, or soulful. That is what raises the fascination in me for others walking around this rock with me.

There has been no official data collected for this blog, only my observations. My Mom tells me I pay too much attention to others. She also worries that I 'give' too much. Little does she know, that I behave as if I'm an alien on this planet talking to many inhabitants and studying, if you will, behaviors and responses. (Ooh...that doesn't sound weird, at all!)

I observe all from tones of voices, facial expressions, body movements, what's said and what is not said, how smiles reach eyes or if they don't. I look at hands, posture, gaits, and willingness to connect with strangers. It's amazing what you can tell in a public place as mundane as a grocery store.

"I knew you were late because you were somewhere talking to somebody", I hear my mother's voice in my head.

Not everyone gets it.

If you look carefully, people tell their story without even realizing they are doing it. Our lives are written everywhere on us (past and present). It can be in what we chose to wear, or not wear that day. It can be in whether our eyes are willing to meet another's or if we suddenly find our feet interesting enough to keep our eyes downcast (unless it's a cultural mannerism). Are we fearful? Are we ill? Are we healthy? Are we helpful? Do we need help? Are we avoiding asking? Are we lying? Are we lying to others or to ourselves?

Watch, look, listen. It's taken many years to build this form of communication and I, intentionally, first look into the eyes, if they allow it. The eyes are, as said, the windows to the Soul. Are the draperies wrinkled with laugh lines or do people smile with more of a grimace that doesn't reach the upper two-thirds of their face?

I make sure I am not only reflecting what one is showing me but what I want to show to them. I make short comments and ask questions that don't require a simple Yes or No. We love to talk about ourselves. Not to make anyone paranoid, but we talk sometimes and divulge information we weren't intending to, especially to a stranger. How else are we to get to know and trust one another without that kind of interaction? We can't.

I'm proud of my brothers and sisters who see I mean them no harm. I'm not being manipulative, just curious. Rarely, have I actually had someone turn away without a connection of some kind. I've never felt fear of being harmed when I'm moved to approach a person. If I was not in the best of moods, I was the one that felt something or someone was missing from the day. It was Me.

It was Me not caring.

With every gift and blessing I've been given, I have no right, and no desire, to ignore others. If I sense a lie, I forgive and move on to something else. As I've said before, I pick my battles and there is no use walking through this world with a chip on my shoulder waiting for another human being to knock it off. I refuse to give anyone else that sort of control over my day, my feelings, or my life.

It's also said that if you want to know the truth, ask a child. That's why I love being around children. If they feel safe and loved, they have joyous laughs, belly-laughs! They run and sing and play and don't care how they look! They will stop to see if a friend is hurting. They hug. They are as open and honest as we should be as adults. They are more fun and relaxed.

I like to think that if we could keep more of that in us as adults, there would be fewer disputes about flags, race, nationality, money, land, violence, those who prey on the weak, those who con others, feel envy, mental and emotional illnesses, abuses, stresses and lies (Well, only about who ate the cookies!).

Reboot Challenge? Live like a kid today, loving, open, honest, kind and fearless! Note what you get back from others.

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